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Episode Information

Episode 810 thumbnail

810: The Giant Spider Invasion

A farmer thinks he's found diamonds, but they're really the eggs of a giant spider which came from a nearby meteorite.

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Quotes

00:00:00

Beginning of the episode

00:01:46 (add an annotation)
Servo, dressed as cheerleader
Gimme an 'S'!
Mike
No.
Servo
Gimme an 'A'!
Crow
Hmm, no.
Servo
Gimme a 'T'!
Mike
Nuh-uh.
Sevo
Well, come on, you gotta give me something.
Crow
Well, technically, we don't, really.
00:05:37 (add an annotation)
Mike
It's a Giant Spider Invasion of Savings, at Menards!

Menards is a chain of home improvement stores in the Midwestern United States.

00:05:54 (add an annotation)
Servo
Special, but unknown guest star!
Crow
How can you have a guest star in a movie?
00:06:15 (add an annotation)
Mike
It was executive produced, at least there's that...
00:11:21 (add an annotation)
Mike, referring to the hick family
You know, they're poor only in money... and sprit, and dignity, and moral fiber, and hygiene.
00:11:50 (add an annotation)
Mike
The movie that takes the bold step of NOT including the audience.
00:15:04 (add an annotation)
Sherrif
No ma'am, I don't have the number.
Servo
Take your time, movie...
Sherrif
All I can tell ya is, use the Yellow Pages. Let your fingers do the walking! *laughs out loud at himself*
Crow, as if speaking of a disclaimer
Not a joke, but an incredible simulation.
00:15:31 (add an annotation)
Mike
Hello? Movie? Here movie! Here boy! (whistle, whistle)
00:16:36 (add an annotation)
Mike
And the movie ramps up the repulsion.
Crow
This movie hates us, doesn't it?
00:16:53 (add an annotation)
Crow, as a clean character walks into scene
A showered person, thank God.
00:19:32 (add an annotation)
Mike
Ahh, the bright promise of a disgusting new character.
00:24:59 (add an annotation)
Dr. Langer, in a grizzled voice
I'm so glad you're here Doctor. I'm Jenny Langer.
Crow
Smoker... Coffee Drinker...
00:25:57 (add an annotation)
Crow
Such a nice day and they're wasting it making this movie...
00:27:23 (add an annotation)
Servo
Shot on location in Mrs. Herberger's biology class!
00:28:45 (add an annotation)
Female Hick
*screams* (after seeing severed cow head)
Mike
GOT MILK?!

The slogan of a well known US advertising campaign trying to get people to buy more cow's milk.

00:30:12 (add an annotation)
Male Hick
You're so dumb, you wouldn't know rabbit turds from Rice Krispies.
Crow
Snap crackle poop.

Crow is referencing the Rice Krispies characters named "Snap", "Crackle", and "Pop".

00:32:07 (add an annotation)
Mike
You know, this movie tested well with sexual predators.
00:36:08 (add an annotation)
Sheriff
Pardon me doctor. *flicks small spider from table*
Servo, refereing to Alan Hale (Sheriff) being overwieight
There's a crumb I didn't eat there.
Sheriff, refering to the spider he flicked
One of our local spiders. Heh heh.
Crow
So, it's stupid and smells of beer sweat?
00:45:14 (add an annotation)
Female Hick to Husband
You look like you could use a drink.
Servo
...and a shower, and a job.
00:45:50 (add an annotation)
Male Hick
We can't let that sheriff come nosin' around here. What if he finds the diamonds? ... And all that grass we're growing?
Servo
Lawns are illegal in Wisconsin??

Lawns are not illegal in Wisconsin. However, they seem to have a problem with margarine.

00:48:16 (add an annotation)
Crow singing
I feel shaky, ohh so trembly... I've had whiskey and vodka and gin!

Crow is singing modified lyrics for the song "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story (1961).

00:50:50 (add an annotation)
Crow
It's morning in America. The back braces are a little sturdier...
Servo
The morning gin tastes a little smoother.

"Morning in America" was the slogan for Ronald Reagan's 1984 re-election campaign.

00:51:58 (add an annotation)
Mike, as male hick hands cousin a diamond for inspection
The diamond anniversary ring - tell her you'd marry her right out of high school all over again.
00:54:10 (add an annotation)
Servo
The new 'Alan Hale Action Figure': He sits down, he snacks, he sits down again, he farts, he drives, he comes with his own lunch!
Mike
Action Alan Hale and Action Alan Hale's Gut sold separately.

Alan Hale (1918-1990), american actor. Son of Errol Flynn sidekick Alan Hale. Probably best known as the skipper on Gilligan's Island and Sheriff Jeff Jones in The Giant Spider Invasion.

00:58:06 (add an annotation)
Servo
Mike, if I should slip into a coma during this movie, please, PLEASE, do not take ANY extraordinary measures to revive me.