the Distributed MST3K Annotation Project

Episode Information

Episode 902 thumbnail

902: The Phantom Planet

A stranded astronaut discovers that he's on an asteroid inhabited by a tiny alien race.

Actions

Quotes

00:00:00

Beginning of the episode

00:01:34

Opening Host Segment

00:02:17 (add an annotation)
Mike, as Andy Rooney
I don't trust soups on the whole, no more than I trust stews.
00:06:09

Movie Begins

00:06:23 (add an annotation)
Mike, as a nuclear blast occurs on screen
Pat Buchanan's first day as president.

A vile neocon Republican who, when running for President, decided that the Republican National Convention was the right place to state that he thought Jews were greedy, media-controlling, anti-American assh*oles that he'd kowtowed to long enough.

00:07:42 (add an annotation)
Narrator
This story you are about to witness...
Servo
...is a first draft.

"The Story You Are About To Witness" is the opening line from the long-running radio and television program, "Dragnet."

00:07:49 (add an annotation)
Narrator
[Big, long philosophical speech]
Mike, as Narrator
Well, that said, enjoy your crappy sci-fi movie.
00:11:30 (add an annotation)
Crow
Today the moon narrowly missed hitting a man's eye like a big pizza pie.
Servo
Scientists believe that's amore.

Reference to the song "That's Amore" by Dean Martin.

00:19:16 (add an annotation)
Servo
Soundtrack by Percy Faith and his Orchestra.

Percy Faith was a band-leader, orchestrator and composer. He is often credited with creating the "easy listening" or "mood music" format which became staples of American popular music in the 1950s.

00:20:27 (add an annotation)
Servo
It's Black Bart and his gang. Get away from that rocket you varmints!

Black Bart was Charles Bolles, a western outlaw famous for his stagecoach robberies in the 1870's and 1880's.

00:21:42

First Host Segment

00:23:08

First Host Segment Ends

00:24:19 (add an annotation)
Servo
(as a tape is played) Good morning, Mr. Oddface.

Reference to the cassette tape briefings from Mission: Impossible.

00:37:32 (add an annotation)
Mike
...and that's why I'm dressed as Quentin Crisp.

The character with the robes is wearing clothes similar to the controversial Quentin Crisp.

00:39:34

Second Host Segment

00:42:04

Second Host Segment Ends

00:44:30 (add an annotation)
Crow
Wow... This is almost as good as 2001: nails driven into your eyes.

2001: A Space Odyssey is a Sci-Fi film set in space. Frequently appears in "Best Movies of All Time" lists.

00:44:38 (add an annotation)
Servo
You know what Captain? Every year I become more and more convinced...

The first astronaut said the same exact line at 00:13:18.

00:50:44 (add an annotation)
Servo
Look at this guy, George Shultz was more expressive!

George P. Shultz was a politician who had little to no expression on his face, even in official D.O.L. and D.O.T. portraits.

00:50:51 (add an annotation)
Crow
The old guy's stoned on Beta Blockers.

Beta Blockers are anti-anxiety drugs, typically used to conquer stage fright.

00:52:54 (add an annotation)
Mike
He's showing off his Ray Bolger physique.

Ray Bolger was the actor who played the Scarecrow and the farmer Hunk in the 1939 version of "The Wizard of Oz".

00:56:21 (add an annotation)
Crow, as hero
Hey girls, wanna make a 'me' sandwich?
01:05:39

Third Host Segment Begins

01:07:47

Third Host Segment Ends

01:22:06 (add an annotation)
Servo
No fair, you can't flash back to stuff we saw ten seconds ago!
01:23:51 (add an annotation)
Mike
I just want to remind you, this is a Northwest flight, so we'll be sitting on the tarmac for an hour with no beverages and air-conditioning, and we're out of meals, and the flight attendants are overworked and abusive, and if you complain we'll throw you off the flight.

Airlines are notorious for sitting on the "tarmac" (the runway) for a few minutes due to some sort of delay.

01:25:32 (add an annotation)
Crow, during countdown arriving at number 4
Pi!

Pi is an infinite number, most often abbreviated as 3.14.

01:26:11 (add an annotation)
Servo
So long no less than 95 percent meat and meat byproducts!
Mike
They did chicken right.
Servo
Yes!

Kentucky Fried Chicken's (KFC) slogan is "We do chicken right".

01:26:32

Final Host Segment

01:30:32

Credits

01:31:35

Stinger: "You know, Captain, every year of my life, I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful... "