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00:00:00
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Beginning of the episode
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00:01:33
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Opening host segment
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00:05:17
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Movie begins
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00:21:51
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First host segment
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00:22:48
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- Pearl
- I promise I will never send another bad movie with Joe Don Baker in
which a dark haired sheriff in a small role gets shot and slides down a
wall twice! OK? Happy?!
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00:23:20
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Movie resumes
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00:25:45
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- Servo
- Clowns--terrifying in any country!
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00:27:07
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- Crow
- Could you DOSE me, Mike?
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00:27:40
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- Servo, as Geronimo/Joe Don Baker
- Yeah, I'm the star of "Mitchell," thank you. Had a bit part
in "GoldenEye," yep.
Joe Don Baker (1936- ) played the title character in the 1975 movie
"Mitchell" (used in MST3K episode 512) and played Jack Wade
in the 1995 James Bond movie "GoldenEye" (a role he reprised
in 1997's "Tomorrow Never Dies").
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00:36:47
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- Servo
- Hey Crow, you've got a golden ash.
- Crow
- Shut up.
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00:38:54
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- Servo
- The streets of San Fran... Malta!
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00:39:28
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Second host segment
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00:44:11
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- Mike, as cop begins chasing bad guy dressed as a priest
- Guess he's a Felonious Monk.
A pun on the name of jazz pianist Thelonious Monk.
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00:44:41
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- Crow, singing
- Hello Major Tom, hello there Major Tom, how's it going, Tom...
Paraphrases Peter Schilling's 1983 song "Major Tom (Coming
Home)." Actual lyrics: "'Hello Major Tom / Are you receiving
/ Turn the thrusters on / We're standing by..."
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00:44:52
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- Servo, as evil guy dressed as a monk
- I'm going to nail some theses to his head!
Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses (statements attacking various
contemporary practices of the Catholic Church) to the door of
Wittenburg's Church of All Saints. He did not, as far as history tells
us, actually nail them to anyone's head.
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00:44:57
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- Mike, indicating pink-hulled boat in the background
- So sad, the Operation Petticoat set sitting out there, rusting...
Due to a shortage of red paint, the few cans Tony Curtis' character
managed to secure were mixed with white paint so that the submarine in
the Cary Grant film "Operation Petticoat" ended up an
extremely girly pink.
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00:46:05
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- Servo, as fleeing monk
- This is Papal bull, man.
A Papal bull is a communiqué composed by the Vatican chancery. These
letters to the rest of the Catholic Church at large can take the form
of constitutions, encyclicals, decrees, decretals, or rescripts.
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00:50:41
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- Crow, as escaping monk
- Nice try, Joe Don! I'm off to make Xerox commercials!
In a 1977 TV commercial, Brother Dominick produced 500 perfect copies
of a manuscript overnight by using the Xerox 9200, instead of
transcribing them by hand as monastics were wont to do.
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01:04:36
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Third host segment
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01:07:03
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Movie resumes
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01:14:45
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- Mike, as Joe Don shoves bartender's face into a fishtank
- Where'd he go, K-K-K-Ken?
In "A Fish Called Wanda," Otto (Kevin Kline)
interrogates/tortures the stuttering, animal-loving Ken (Michael Palin)
by eating all the fish out of Ken's aquarium-- including the Wanda of
the film's title.
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01:25:41
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- Geronimo, after shooting Palermo
- Darlin'... the big 'un's got my badge. Would you get it for me?
- Crow
- What?!
- Mike
- Wh-what kind of a great last line is that?
- Servo
- The hell?!
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01:26:07
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- Singer in closing credits song
- You better run...
- Servo, to the same tune
- Or he'll steal you lunch!
- Singer
- You better hide...
- Crow, to the same tune
- Your lunch!
- Singer
- You better run...
- Mike, to the same tune
- 'Cause he's got the runs!
- Singer
- 'Cause he won't stop 'til he gets his man...
- Servo, to the same tune
- Or your lunch!
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01:26:33
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- Crow, referring to the clapping in the ending song
- Mmm, listen to that guitar solo. I think it's by Eric Clap...? Yeah,
Eric Clap.
A reference to Eric Clapton (1945- ), a Grammy-winning
guitarist/singer/songwriter known for hit songs like "Layla"
(both with the band Derek and the Dominos and later as a solo artist)
and his cover of the Bob Marley song "I Shot the Sheriff".
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01:27:04
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- Mike
- You know, maybe we should lay off the food jokes, guys.
- Crow
- Yeah. I guess it's not really fair to Joe Don Baker.
- Mike
- Yeah, I mean some people just metabolize just a little slower...
- Servo, cutting him off
- Meatballs fried in lard!
- Crow
- All right, Servo! Sorry, Mike, all bets are off.
- Mike
- Oh, come on now.
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01:28:36
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Final host segment
