- Mr. B Natural, after suddenly popping into the shot
- How's that?
- Servo
- It stinks!
- Tom
- Watch out for snakes!
- Crow
- Oh no, Mr. B Natural is in one of those lockers!
- Mike, as the Janitor (as Torgo)
- The Master wants you, but he can't have you.
- Crow
- Looks like he took dance lessons from Arch Hall Jr.
- Title
- SANTA CLAUS
- Servo
- Joe Don Baker IS Santa Claus.
- Crow
- Santa Claus vs. the Aztec Mummy.
- Crow, as smiling nun
- He'd never touch you, Terry. You're dirt.
- Crow, as two characters are shown riding in a car
- "Manos".
- All
- *laughing*
- Servo
- "The Hands of Fate".
- Crow, as a plane lands
- That nose wheel feels mushy.
- Mike
- The Coffee Guy!
- Servo, as Coffee Guy
- I like coffee.
- Servo
- I'm Cherokee Jack!
- Servo, as Joe walks into the desert
- Watch out for snakes!
- Narrator
- A trip up into the skies and jump...
- Mike, as Narrator
- ...start flapping your arms.
- Narrator
- And if the killer is on the plateau, kill him.
- Crow
- Plus, Coleman has lots of skydiving footage.
- Crow
- Hey, how'd they get into Cuba?
- Narrator
- The others? They were along for the ride. Whether they liked it or not.
Liked it? They hated it.
- Mike
- Flag on the moon.
- Mike
- Well, I can't find the Blood Beast, but I see the Beast of Yucca Flats.
- Princess
- You *will* help me. A whole city! Diamonds, crystals! Gold!
- Mike, as Princess
- Pitchblende! Bauxite!
- Crow
- I'm Mr B. ... Natural!
- Mike, as Bearded Homeless Guy
- You always were a good judge of men, Deathstalker.
- Crow
- Ted Nelson was found alive, and of normal size. There was no melting
man.
- Servo, as Trash
- I better get over to the Zombie Nightmare set
- Crow, in an annoyingly nasal voice
- Roxy!
- Servo, as a Cessna flies over the desert
- Red Zone Cuba III: The destruction of Cherokee Jack.
- Servo
- Leave the Bronx! You are ordered to leave the Bronx!
- Servo
- Well, Mike, jerking around must have caused a flame-out...
- Crow
- Oh, they turned Leech Woman into a musical.
- All
- We are Ken.
- Mike, as The Chairman is first shown
- TV's Frank!
- Servo
- Wow, Frank. You've really come up in the world.
- Servo, as Dr. Paul Steiner
- My ugly little dummy.
- Servo, as Dr. Paul Steiner
- You're an ugly stupid little doctor.
- Servo, as Dr. Paul Steiner
- Ugly dummy!
- Mike, as scientist is fighting thugs
- Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind!
- Crow, as Diabolik
- Ha-HA, I'm useless against your weapons! I mean...